Here is another friendly public service announcement by Joe Johnson:
It’s the good old Independence Day in the U.S. of A. Many of you are hyped and are gonna and do the most fourth-of-July’sy things imaginable like every year (yes, I know that’s not even a legitimate word). Many of you may not really give as much of a damn and just be glad that it’s (likely) a day off. Either way, I beg of you all to just not do any stupid shit. I know a lot of folks will still do stupid shit anyways, but if I can just reach out and save one person, then I’ll be straight. And by stupid shit, I’m mainly talking about fireworks:
- I honestly don’t even care if you use bootleg fireworks, just be cautious of the environment around you if you do (houses or basically anywhere with anything that’s highly flammable).
- Don’t play giant Battleship with your friends in a giant field with the fireworks.
- Don’t have a Michael Bay movie marathon the night before and get inspired.
- Please don’t get balls-to-the-wall drunk, stick a firecracker up your ass and try to go to the moon. It’s one small tumble for man, but one giant crash for humanity.
Celebrate responsibly, fools. Just sit back, relax, maybe get the grill going for some BBQ, and not do regretful things. I know that this is the ‘land of the free’, but just because you can do it doesn’t automatically mean you should do it. The real question is do you even really want to do it? I don’t know. Do it if you want to, just don’t end up on the news. The last thing we need on there is another story about bad decisions. Alright, y’all be cool.
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